There is wide recognition that there is a crisis in masculinity – has been for a while; since the advent of feminisms threw men off kilter? Since the Industrial revolution displaced men’s roles into factories and mines? Since Patriarchy imposed tight roles and expectations of gender and hierarchy? Certainly there seems to be something toxic in being men today, that leads to growing suicide rates especially for young men; violence – men on men, on women, on children and on themselves; growing de-humanising pornography distorting sex and intimacy; continuing gender inequality and injustice.  Even the looming eco-armaggedeon of climate change, extinctions and pollution may be linked to men’s disconnection from their selves, not to mention Trump/Putin and the increasing threat of world war.

 

My imperative dates back to the 80’s when becoming aware of the ecological crisis and of feminism’s healthier willingness for change, I became a pro-feminist man, and was then confronted with the common slogan at that time “All men are bastards!”  Unfortunately I felt it was uncomfortably close to the truth.  What was more upsetting was the lack of concern for the men.  No questioning why men were behaving poorly and abusively; it just seemed as if us men were being written off as inherently no good.

The culture of ‘boys don’t cry’, be strong, and be a good boy and do as you’re told, whether in the military, the mine or the office, is very pervasive and strong. Growing up taught that boys are made of “slugs and snails and puppy dog-tails” - all the foul and discarded bits, and without a supportive or emotionally available father to model positive, happy or healthy male energy, it was difficult to see a way forward.  The competitive and power-based relationships displayed between men threatens any open or heart-felt communication or growth.

But thankfully I found Men’s Groups - lots of lovely men who were learning to open up, share, feel, grieve and blossom; books and even some magazine articles, though only on the fringe.  It wasn’t a lot, there is no regular ‘Man’s Hour’ on BBC R4, no magazines devoted to support and guidance for men and few books or role models if you are struggling against the ethos of being a Real Man.

 

And so the crisis in being a man is even stronger today; when the recent #metoo exposed the enormity of male sexual abuse, coming on top of the child sex-abuse inquiry, sure one of the responses men need to make is to ask ‘why are men doing this?’  What drives a man who needs love and intimacy like everyone else to force himself so humiliatingly onto a woman?  For surely it is humiliating- shameful and so not going to fulfil his need for love and real intimacy.

 

So eMANcipated? is about confronting and exploring that shame that binds men into such destructive and unhappy behaviours.  It is about exploring the painful, hurt and damaged aspects of growing up male today.

It is also about exploring and rejoicing in the healthy and wonderfully rich and diverse, affirmative sides of men, including their dedication and hard work, the sacrifices and their courage, their struggles to love their friends, partners, children and even themselves.